Tying Up Our Loose Ends in Preparation for Our Resurrection – A very personal testimony

Greetings:

     I am still weak from my experience this morning (February 22, 2017) in the eternal realm– which I share with you in this brief article. I am an open person. I have nothing to hide. This is a personal testimony, but it needs to be shared with those who intend to enter the Kingdom of Elohim, those who longingly await the coming of Messiah Yahushua. We are human beings, and that unites us in similar experiences in our lives. I know you will be able to relate to what I share. In this experience, Abba took me into His realm and reuniting me with my parents–the result of it being closure – a tying up of loose ends that had to be.    It is entitled:

 Tying Up Our Loose Ends in Preparation for Our Resurrection A very personal testimony By Yedidah

I pray this message, Abba’s message to His children, goes to the core of your being. If you are bound in mind and emotions, it can set you free. Most humans are bound in some way. The enemy never rests from tormenting our mind and emotions (soul). And now, we are bombarded with all sorts of chemicals and technology that is affecting our body, and even changing some of our DNA. I told my daughter I stay with about the changing of our DNA by many factors all around us, and she said her chiropractor has said the same things. He has formulated a  diet that she and her husband are on, which is excellent – a cleansing diet.

This is written with all esteem to Yahuwah and Yahushua for Their love and compassion, Love, and kindness to me. Psalm 40:1-3 is my bedrock testimony.

Revelation 12:11: “And they overcame him (the dragon/Satan) by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony, and that they loved not their lives even unto death.” 

Please take this experience and the revelation that it contains for your own meditation and introspection. Abba is preparing us to meet Messiah. To do so, we have to be clean as He is clean – pure of heart and prepared to stand before Him with confidence. (I John 3:1-3) Unless we close the portals by which the enemy comes through to torment us, we can’t go very far forward on in our salvation walk.  Yes! This is a huge “salvation issue.”

It won’t be easy to convey the depth of my spirit right now, but I’ll try…

I got up a little before 8:00 this morning. I looked outside and saw the little bird feeder that my 6-year old granddaughter, Abby, had made out of a ½ gallon plastic milk bottle. It was hung on a tree limb. It had some wild bird seed in it. I saw a robin eating the seed; then I saw a female cardinal on the ground eating what had fallen out of the bottle. I saw a dove couple on the ground and several other birds of different sizes.

 My mother taught third grade for 23 years, in Oklahoma and California. One of the subjects on the California curriculum for third graders back then (late 1940s-1960s) was about birds. When she and my dad moved to North Carolina to be near our family, they put out bird seed on the window sill and we’d sit by the window inside the house and watch them. Her favorite was the red crested male cardinal.

    Abba used my brief bird-watching this morning to open the portal into His eternal realm.  I have seen my parents three times in open visions of the cloud of witnesses over several years. They always looked in their 30s, holding hands, smiling at me.

     This morning I did not see them with my physical eyes. There was no vision. But, Abba pulled back the veil of heaven and I entered into His realm. I cried through this whole experience for nearly an hour, and still tender-crying. Freedom is a wonderful thing! We think we’re OK until He shows us our bondage, and then offers to free us.

     As one frame after the other of my life passed in front of me to do with mom and “papa” (that’s what I called him), I felt the strongest desire to tell them how sorry I was for shaming them when I was so full of hate, living in sin, despising them, hating “God” with all my heart, bitter and angry. I ruined my reputation and theirs. I hurt my children and my grandchildren. That desire did not come from my reasoning mind, but deep from within the mind of the spirit, which is “the mind of Messiah.” (I Corinthians 2:9-16)

    I felt their presence come close. I began apologizing with many tears. I also said that forgave them for how they had hurt me–how I felt they had hurt me. In my misunderstanding, I had accused them of a lot of things that were not true, but were a product of my own twisted mind. I never really got to know my mother beyond a surface level, for she remained aloof most of my life. But, then, very few children ever get to know their parents beyond a surface day to day level.  She was a good woman. She reached out to the homeless, the widows, the poor. It was not until she was dying in a nursing home in Andrews, North Carolina, that the depths of my love for her came out in bitter tears. I let her know my love. Even though she was in a semi-coma, she reacted to me with pain on her face.

     This morning’s event was not an imaginary thing. It was real! I did not make it up out of sentimentality because I was watching birds and remember mom.  I’d been watching birds for over a year from my bedroom window–if the bird feeder had feed in it.

     Yahuwah’s Presence was powerful, and I knew I was in another realm, while still on earth in my physical body. The re-born spirit is indeed a portal into His realm. I felt eternity–the separation barrier had been removed.

     Another thing was evident–our connection was spirit to spirit. My carnal earth-bound soul/mind and emotions were passive–just watching and listening but not participating.  I’ve known this separation of the two several times before, yet they are united as one eternal spirit-man. Through the Spirit of Yahuwah, we communicated. Whenever it is Yahuwah’s doing – it is always life-changing!!!

     What was evident was that through this, Abba was tying up loose ends in my life to free me, to free them, in preparation for their resurrection and our meeting in the Kingdom at the return of Messiah. I saw my place in Yahushua’s Kingdom differently than ever before. I saw no division, only interaction.

     There is a division that Yahushua has made according to the wedding party – there is the Bride, there are the attendants, and there are the guests. That’s all through Scripture in symbol and clearly stated. In Messiah’s earthly time-dated Kingdom of 1000 years, there will be little separation because we’ll be on earth, still in time. After the Kingdom, we read about the division of the wedding party, Revelation 21, because of Yahuwah’s City coming down and hovering over the earth. We will have returned back before Genesis 1:1 and be in an eternal state, with no time, no death–no one will even want to sin. In 1000-year reign of Messiah there will be an interaction between all born again people as we work together with Messiah to accomplish His goals. But, there will also be those who rebel against Him. Read Revelation 19-22.

     The Kingdom will be like a family reunion! Before my mother died March 30, 1995, she had excursions into the eternal realm. She saw her mother in heaven. Her mother asked her to come on, but she said that she had to wait for me to come – I was in Texas, she was in North Carolina. She saw her sister sitting on her bed talking to her, and told the nurses about it. She said her sister looked so good – like she was in her 30s. Her sister had died the month before. We never told her that.  She told the nurses that she’d been out walking in the forest, and described the beauty she saw. The nurses that attended her were part of her sister’s husband’s family. They were Christians. They told me about what she saw, saying “she saw into heaven.”

     December 18^th, and twice in January, I had visitations as I did in 2013 from a messenger of Yahuwah, basically telling me that “the time is now, you will be leaving soon.”  I know from dreams, visions, and “words,” for many years, going back to 1985, even 1949, about my future for Abba before Messiah comes. I have no fear of it. I didn’t fully understand what was being said about “leaving,” but the messages to me were very strong. After that, Yahuwah’s Spirit directed me to make preparations for “leaving.”

     I never am forewarned when His messengers come, or when He begin talking. The veil stays open between He, and I because of our daily relationship. But, I never have any personal intervention from Him because I’ve been thinking about something – it is always a surprise. He is the great Surpriser, as well as the great Interrupter!

     That’s the privilege we all have IF we take it! Our re-born spirit is an open portal into His realm IF we keep it open by our obedience and aligned to Abba Yahuwah.

     We’re the ones who shut off His input into our lives. We’re the ones who tie His hands from being able to help us. He’s always willing to be our Friend, but friendship is a two-way street! People become friends by spending time together to know each other, and to hear one another’ heart-cries. It is not an automatic thing.

     Eternity felt very close. I’ve known that our time here is short, but to feel it was another thing. I know some of you are feeling this, too.

     Put no soul-barriers between you and others … no matter how much you think they’ve hurt you. We have a Kingdom coming and all that won’t matter anymore. And, we never know what He will do with our worst enemies. He may just turn things around for them, draw them to Himself, and save them! Look what He did with Sha’ul! (Acts 9)

     This Scripture must be applied with a heart of love, even for our enemies: “I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion…” (Romans 9:13-18) Each one’s destiny is in Yahuwah’s hands, not ours.

     The condition of our heart–mind, emotions, attitudes, nature, ways, thinking and will–will determine our future place in the Kingdom. If we retain bitterness in our heart (soul/mind and emotions by our will), hate, hurtful memories, grief, memories that trigger these negatives, then we’re the loser, not someone else. We only hurt ourselves!

     I know — the enemy enjoys playing hurtful memories in our minds, usually when we’re weak, sick, tired, discouraged, or waking up from sleep. He also wants to remind us of our own failings so that we live in regret. He wants to banquet on our pain.

     I lived in regret for so many years over what I allowed in my own life that caused such destruction in my children’s lives. I couldn’t forgive myself. One day, in June Joyner’s prayer class at Grace Temple in Fort Worth, June said to me “there is someone you have not forgiven.” I was indignant. Who had I not forgiven? I went out in the parking lot, got in my car, and as I drove out of the parking lot, I asked Abba, “who have I not forgiven?” He answered: “You have not forgiven yourself.” Oh how I wept!

     People have a way of keeping those who hurt them in a little cage in their heart. Whenever they feel like it, they take out the cage, pull out the hurt and love on it a little, while beating up the person that caused the hurt, then put them back into the cage until the next time. The fall of Adam into rebellion against Creators made us “sick” beings in our extremes. Yet, the fall never removed our ability for love!

     Sit down this Shabbat and say “I am sorry” to those who have passed on, those whom you have hurt. Say “I forgive you,” and mean it from the depths of your spirit, to those who have passed on that have hurt you. If they are still alive, make things right – not by e-mail, but by phone, or in person if possible. Tears are a cleaner of the soul. It’s OK to cry out your hurt, and let the love of Abba cover the pain, and then remove it.

     In 2003, while walking around the walls of the old city of Jerusalem the Shabbat of Passover week, I stopped at the pools of Bethesda north of the Temple Mount. I just wanted to take some pictures for Derek who was attending Bethesda Church in Fort Worth. As I entered the grounds of St. Anne’s Church, who maintain the ruins of the pools, (John 5), Yahushua’s lovely voice said to me: “After 38 years.” I burst out crying. It had been 38 years since my life went off a cliff into a deep pit that lasted for 32 years.

The pain of those years was so deep that I couldn’t get over them. Sometimes it takes a sovereign act of Elohim to set us free, doesn’t it?

     I walked to the entrance of the ruins, where after 38 years Messiah freed a man who had been lame and bound there by the waters of that Roman “medicine pool.” As I turned towards the entrance, there in front of me stood Yahushua. I can still see Him. It was not a vision. He was really there. I saw Him with my physical eyes. I stared at Him in awe. He smiled, bent forward a little from the waste, made a sweeping gesture towards the entrance as in “welcome,” and then vanished. I began crying harder.

     As I came out of the ruins, He said to me “go and sin no more.” These were the words He said to that man in John 5. My sin had been holding hurt, grief, pain, anger, and bitterness –unforgiveness.  As I walked out of the ruins, 38 years of pain was totally gone, never to return. I had peace.

     While attending BIOLA University in my junior year (1964-65), I was still judgmental of my dad. One day, I was terribly sick. I prayed for healing, took medicine, and nothing I did helped me. I knew that it was because of my anger against my dad.  Late that night, I went down the hall to the little chapel. It was empty except for me. I cried out to Abba from my heart that I forgave my dad.  I was instantly healed of my sickness.

     Henry Wright’s book The More Excellent Way has helped a lot of people be healed from things that doctors said was incurable. Because, and doctors know this, so many afflictions of our body are because we are holding pain, grief, bitterness, hurt, and anger inside.  I had serious fibromyalgia.  I read in Henry’s book that its root was hurt and grief. He said that memory is not just stored in the brain, but also in the muscles of the body! I asked Abba to take away the grief, and within a few hours, I had no more fibromyalgia, and it never came back!  There are serious side effects in the body because of holding resentment against our parents, too. Did you know that?

    I held resentment against my dad, and my mom, for years. I had judged my “papa,” and condemned him, tearing him up in my mind over and over.  He died tragically from burst aneurisms around his heart on November 4, 1982. Just before they burst, and the ambulance was called, he was once again reading Revelation 4 and 5 – his favorite chapters in the Bible. He had turned his life around and was a witness to the joy of the Master to all in our little town. He was loved.  At his  funeral you would have thought the mayor died for all the people who came.  It is the END of our faith that is the salvation of our life. (I Peter 1:9)  Give  Abba a chance –destroy any cages in your heart.

     There’s a lot of “in between,” and we must not harbor negative emotions at people passing through the “in between,” because it only hurts us. No, we can’t stay in abusive situations, or allow sin to reign in our homes, or rebellious older children, or upheaval in ourselves either.  We have to rationally act a lot of times to remove ourselves from what is harming us. But to hold hostility in our heart–NO, we can’t allow it.

     We are wretched sinners saved by His mercy and goodness. We must maturely take responsibility for our part in bringing hurt to others and to ourselves. It has been our own hand to a great degree. Our decisions have put us in bad situations, and it is our following the directives of the Spirit that can help us get out of them.  But, to waste our time with grief, hurt, bitterness, anger, frustration, anxiety, fear, worry – NO!  Isaiah 26:2-4 reigns with advice that works!

     In 1985, Yahuwah gave me a dramatic dream. It showed me that all those years of anger and hate I had towards Him was because of my own hand, my own not misunderstanding of His nature that had caused my own pain. I did everything I could to show Him my hate of Him–yet, my sin was greater than anyone else’s sin against me! I tied His hands from being able to help me. I awoke from that dream and apologized to Him profusely. After 12 years of rebellion, He lovingly and patiently drew me back. The cavern of hate that I had carved because I thought He had failed me became the cavern to hold my love for Him!  Psalm 40:2-4 is my testimony!

     In growing up, when papa lost control in his anger, later I’d see him sitting with his Bible. Hate filled my heart, and the word “hypocrite” was on my lips. I accused him of everything but goodness. Man judges outward appearances; Yahuwah judges the heart!

     Years after he died, I had been out grocery shopping and was returning back home. As I pulled into the driveway, Abba flashed a picture of him sitting in his favorite chair reading the Bible after one of his anger outbursts. The soft voice of Yahushua gently said:  “HE WAS ONLY GETTING UP.” I stopped the car, and cried tears for a long time. I finally understood after all those years what he was doing. He was no hypocrite. He never was a hypocrite.  He was repenting. He was getting himself right again with Abba.  I began asking his forgiveness, knowing that the veil between us and Abba’s eternity is very thin when we repent–when we cry for mercy for others like we cry for ourselves.

     A few months before my dad died, for he knew he was dying, he came to me in the kitchen of their house and simply said “I want to ask your forgiveness for anything I ever did to hurt you.” It hit me so hard that I turned around and hugged him, and said “I don’t remember your doing anything to hurt me.” I really didn’t remember. Abba had erased it from my pain-list. In North Carolina my dad and I became buddies in talking about the coming of Messiah. He really was a truly born-again man!

     In 2001, I went to the Greek Isle of Patmos (Revelation 1:9). I took the little folder of my dad’s notes on Revelation with me into the cave where Yochanan/John received the Revelation. I read them there, and talked to my “papa” (that’s what I called him) telling him that I was in the cave where the Revelation was given, reading his notes and letters to people about what John saw. I felt so close to him there.

     My earthly father imparted five things to me that transformed my life:

Passion for the Word, passion for the Spirit of Yahuwah, passion to win the lost to salvation and teach (disciple) them, passion to study and teach about the end times/passion for Messiah’s return, and love for Israel. THANK YOU PAPA!

    My mother gave me five foundational platforms, without which the passions Papa gave me would not be worked out in my life:

Passion to study and do research to find truth, passion to teach the truth I learned, and to educate all ages of people so that they might be encouraged to seek Elohim with all their heart, practical skills in organizing and recording data–“a business head” for office management leadership, a love for giving, and a love for, and appreciation of, beauty. THANK YOU MOMMA!

     Esau had no respect for his father, or his mother. He sold his birthright for a bowl of lentil soup. When he came to get his father’s blessing, it had already been given to  Ya’cob. Don’t be like Esau. Don’t throw away who you are for anything or anyone!  Yahuwah is your Father and Yahushua is your spiritual Brother … If you want to remain in Their family, don’t fall for the beguiling and seducing thoughts of the enemy and end up prostituting yourself to demons, and thus lose your blessing. Stay child like in faith.     Hold on to what is yours because of Yahushua.

      Be like Yochanan the Apostle of love –put your ear to Messiah’s chest and learn Truth from Truth Himself. (John 13) Stay in the Word! Make Yahuwah’s Spirit your foundation-Teacher! Please read these Scriptures:  Mark 11:25-26; Hebrews 12:14-15; I Peter 4:7-8’ the book of I John; and Matthew 16:15-17

     The time is short; eternity is near. Abba is tying up loose ends to prepare us to stand before the Master Yahushua and hear Him say “Well done, good and faithful servant …enter into the joy of your Master.”

In His love, shalom,

Yedidah,

February 22, 2017